Sacraments
Marriage Preparation
Preparing for Marriage
Sacrament of Marriage
Part of Creation before the Fall (see Genesis 1–2), “the intimate partnership of married life and love has been established by the Creator and qualified by His laws, and is rooted in the conjugal covenant of irrevocable personal consent” (Gaudium et Spes, Second Vatican Council Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World, no. 48). The consent that a man and a woman exchange in the celebration of marriage unites them in faithful and mutual love. This love is open to life and serves as a way to respond to God’s call to holiness. Together, as you begin the process of marriage preparation, take the time to pray and discern God’s will. While there are certainly preparations to consider for the celebration of the day of your wedding, good marriage preparation lasts a lifetime.
Marriage Preparation in the AMS
The Archbishop for the Military Services has established that the period of preparation prior to the celebration of marriage in the Archdiocese is six months. As the outline of the process below indicates, much work must be done in this time.
The celebration of marriage is entrusted to the pastor of either Catholic party (c. 530, n. 4). Indeed, the permission of a Catholic party’s proper pastor is required if the marriage will not take place in his parish (c. 1115). For subjects of the Archdiocese for the Military Services, the proper pastor is the AMS priest assigned to their military installation.
If you or your intended spouse is a subject of the AMS, then you can begin to prepare for your marriage by contacting one of the priests.
If you and your intended spouse are not subjects of the AMS but would like to celebrate your marriage in a chapel on a military installation, then you must contact the pastor of your civilian parish to begin marriage preparation according to the process established in that civilian diocese.
Marriage Preparation Process
The following outline contains the basic elements and steps that form the period of Catholic marriage preparation. Please contact one of the priests for more details as each case is different.
Review the process on this page
You should contact us as no less than six months prior to desired date.
If you plan on being married in a civilian parish you should begin preparation no less than ten months from the desired date.
Obtain Documents
If you have not done so, you and your spouse will need to contact your parish of baptism and request a copy of your baptismal records. Please tell the parish to include notations or to annotate "no notations" if there are none.
These must have been issued in the last 6 months (the one from the scrapbook at home won’t work). If your spouse is not Catholic and we can discuss this.
If you are currently civilly married and are convalidating you marriage we will also need a copy of the civil marriage license.
Schedule an appointment with a priest
As soon as possible after you and your intended spouse have decided to marry, contact one of the priests to begin discuss your situation and to begin the marriage preparation process. At this initial meeting, the priest will:
- Give an overview of the process to marry in the AMS.
- Ensure that each party is free to marry (i.e., each party has never been in a marriage before or, if married before, that the proper ecclesiastical process has been completed).
- Explain the Church’s understanding of marriage.
- Explain the options for the pre-maritial instruction and formation for marriage.
- Collaborate to set the date and place of the marriage.
Pre-Marital Investigation
Before a party can enter marriage in the Catholic Church, it must be determined that he or she is free to marry and free in marrying.
The priest or another pastoral minister will interview each party separately, completing a document that the party will sign.
A witness for each party (e.g., a family member or close friend) will be interviewed to testify that the party is free to marry and free in marrying.
Finally, and if needed, a petition for any dispensations and/or permissions will be completed and sent to the AMS in Washington, DC.
Pre-Marital Catechesis
Just as with other sacraments in the Church, Catholic and non-Catholic parties preparing for marriage in the Church are to be formed in Christian marriage. Several options are available for this catechesis.
We generally use online marriage instruction resource for preparing couples.
The Marriage Group (Living Our Faith in Love - Online Pre-Cana - The Marriage Group) online program meets the requirements for the AMS. This is an online video and discussion format. At the end it will give you a certificate which you will need to provide to your preparing priest. There is a $195 fee. if you cannot afford this, please let your priest know and they will discuss ypur options.
Introductory Natural Family Planning Session
The Archbishop requires that all couples celebrating marriage in the AMS participate in one introductory session on Natural Family Planning (NFP). This requirement is met when both parties participate in one session either in-person or online.
Online Sessions
The AMS has engaged Erin Welsh, CFCP, Director of Holy Family Fertility Care, to coordinate the Archdiocesan introductory NFP sessions. This session is also available in Spanish, please request that option via the e-mail below.
A certified Creighton-Method instructor, Erin, teaches these sessions via Skype at times that are mutually agreeable to the parties and her (or another trained facilitator who collaborates with her).
- Introductory on-demand viewing session cost is $20
- Introductory couple session with a facilitator cost is $40
To arrange one of the introductory NFP sessions listed above in English or Spanish, please contact Erin Welsh at HolyFamilyFertility@gmail.com.
Complete the FOCCUS pre-marriage survey
We use the "Facilitate Open, Couple, Communication, Understanding and Study." FOCCUS as part of your preparation. Both of you will complete your portion online. At the end it will provide your priest a report to facilitate discussion on on your preparedness for marriage.
The instrument looks at five primary areas couples. Information can be found here: FOCCUS Pre-Marriage Inventory (foccusinc.com).
To get this started the priest will need an email address for each person. The priest or pastoral minster will then register you for the instrument. You will receive an email from FOCCUS with a survey password. Do not take the Re-focus instrument as that is a follow-up after you meet wiht the priest or minster and discuss your FOCCUS results.
Final Meeting with Priest
Prior to your ceremony you will meet one final time with the priest to ensure all the paperwork is in order and any dispensations have been received.
If you are being married in a civilian parish the preparing priest will be required to forward all documents via "snail mail" to the AMS Marriage Tribunal and the on to the local diocese where the marriage is to take place. Please ensure you leave enough time for this process as it can take up to four weeks or longer if being married in another country.
Preparation for the Liturgical Celebration of Marriage
In the weeks prior to the marriage, the priest or deacon assisting at the wedding will meet with the parties to prepare the liturgical celebration.
Celebration of Marriage
Enjoy your wedding day, rejoicing in the Lord with your family and friends.
Learn more about catechesis for marriage on the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops web site, For Your Marriage available en espanol, Por Tu Matrimonio.
Scheduling a Wedding?
Before any wedding is scheduled you must contact the one of the priest chaplains. Only then will the chapel staff schedule your wedding.
Visiting Clergy?
All visiting clergy must be have permision from the senior Catholic chaplain before performing weddings. Families brining their own clergy must ensure they contact the senior Cathoilic chaplain for procedures.